Monday, June 2, 2008

This Isn't Just a Sports Blog!!

Regular people suck every bit as much as stupid athletes and dipshit journalists. And with that in mind, I'm going to try something new. Thanks to a section of the New York Daily News called "Voice of the People", any jackass can write in to the newspaper and get their jackassedness printed. And some of this stuff tends to get pretty bad, for example.

Bronx: Re Voicer Adam Schiavone's ignorant comment about Kurt Cobain's suicide: Kurt Cobain was murdered. You'll find detailed evidence at Jennifer R. Levinsky

If by "detailed evidence" you mean, "a collection of 14 years worth of conspiracy theories" then yeah, you'll find that at Here's a newsflash for you people. Dave Grohl didn't kill Kurt. Neither did Courtney Love. You know why?

Because Kurt Cobain is alive. He's taxiing around the fucking galaxy with Elvis Presley and the guy who killed O.J.'s wife. You can find detailed evidence of this at!!
Let me preface the next topic by saying that it's something I've got a bit of experience with. It's something I've been pretty good at in my life, despite not being great looking or rich. Yeah, we're going to talk briefly about picking up women.
Astoria: The iPod has severely hurt the singles scene. More ladies are wearing iPods than are not. Now a guy like me who would want to talk to a lady cannot. Sal Sessa
Sal!!! Sally boy!!! Sallllll-vaaaaaa-torrrrrre!!! Don't worry, I'm Italian. It's my birthright to make fun of other Italians. And to have a mother with a mustache. Sorry Mom.
First and foremost, where are you trying to pick up women Sal? On the train? Walking in the streets? Or are women actually wearing their iPods out to bars and at the museum and stuff... cuz I must have missed that.
The problem isn't the iPod Sal. The problem is that they're not interested in you, or maybe just not interested in being hit on by ANYBODY at that moment.
Here's why girls like to wear headphones on the street/train/etc. It prevents them from hearing your stupid catcalls. Turning around when someone yells something at you is a very instinctive thing, and the second a woman turns around after you yelled "Hey bayyyy-beeeeee!!!! Bada-bing!!!!" you get encouraged. You think she's interested. She's not interested. Because seventeen guys have shouted the same thing, while wearing the same clothes, with the same stupid fucking spiky 'Growing-Up-Gotti' hairstyle since she left her house an hour ago.
And if she can manage to completely ignore you, there's a chance that you're not going to follow her for 3 blocks. The iPod goes a long way towards saving a chick from having to file a restraining order against you. Be thankful for it.


  1. yeah the most stupid pickup line ive heard is the sssspppppsssst one. the one where theyre trying to get your attention by making that noise instead of something intellegent. yeah its best they wear their ipod. cause youd probably get smacked anyway.

  2. oh and about curt. i woudlve killed myself too cause a combination of heroin an courtney love has to make you want to kill yourself

  3. Hey Fuck Head. Kurt was MURDERED. trying debateing me aout it and ill tear you a new asshole. you cant win. trust me. KURT WAS MURDERED.