Ozzie #!@&@*! Guillen! Yeah!!!

Ozzie Guillen's not happy with the makeup of his (temporarily) first place team. So this astronaut goes to the press and assures them that the GM is going to make a move.

The only problem? Kenny Williams (the GM) has no knowledge of a move pending, saying the following:

"It's just not a good idea to throw your boss under the bus, especially when that boss has had your back as much as I have had his."

So yeah, Kenny's not happy. You have to figure that there was a conversation between Williams and Guillen before Ozzie went to the press though... because Ozzie had to have a reason to think a move was coming. Here's what I think happened.

Ozzie Guillen: Hallo Kenny! Hey, you got a minute mang? I need to talk with you.
Kenny Williams: Sure Ozzie, I've always got time for you, what's up?
OG: Mira Kenny! I can no ween with this offense!
KW: Yeah, some of the guys have been bad. I think Konerko will come around though, maybe it's time to dump Juan Uri...
OG: SCOTT PODSEDNIK MANG!!
KW: Wha? Where? Here?
OG: No Kenny! MIRA!! WE NEED PODSEDNIK!! AND DARIN ERSTAD!!!
KW: Oh, umm... no Ozzie, I don't think we need them. I think we need to cut Juan Uribe and let my grandmother play his position. That would hel...
OG: MOTHER FUCKER!! I NEED GRINDERS YOU FUCKING MARICÓN!!! I NEED SMARTBALL GRINDERS!! I NEED DIRT!!
KW: Podsednik OPS'd .172 last year! And Darin Erstad's been dead for at least seven years!
OG: AND I WANT ECKSTEIN!!
KW: Okay, lets say that I get Eckstein, Erstad and Podsednik. I guess we can play Eckstein at second instead of Uribe, but what about Quentin and Swish?
OG: Mira Kenny! We cut O-Cab and leave Uribe. Uribe is my mang, mang!!
KW: But what about Swish and Quentin?
OG: *pulls out switchblade* FUCK SWISHER!!! AND FUCK CARLOS QUENTIN!! I BURY THOSE COCK-A-ROACH!!
KW: No fucking way Ozzie. There's no way we're dumping Quentin, Swish and O-Cab for those guys...
OG: What you say mang? *Points switchblade at Kenny Williams*
KW: *sarcastically* Okay, okay Ozzie. Sure... I'll go to my office right now and make the trades. I'll completely destroy this team's offense, and mortally wound the franchise's future for the next 7,491 years to get the guys you want. Will that make you happy?
OG: *Puts away switchblade* Aye! I love you Kenny! I going to call a press conference!!!!
OG: *Skips away excitedly*