Friday, June 27, 2008

This Amuses Me As Much As Upsets Me...

This right here.

If you follow tennis at all then you've probably heard of Justin Gimelstob. I don't follow tennis at all, and I knew the name. Apparently, Justin's never dealt with the media before. He sat down with US Radio for an hour and talked to them like they were his frat buddies.

Hey Justin, they couldn't be more prepared to dig your grave if they came to the interview holding shovels and dressed like this. Moving right along, in the interview, Gimelstob tore into several female tennis players, calling them 'sexpots', 'douches', and 'bitches'.

Most of his venom was directed at Anna Kournikova, who he trained when she was a junior. He went so far as to say that he wouldn't hit it, because her face is only a 5, but he'd be happy if his brother tapped that ass. He called her a bitch and claimed that he's going to make her cry when he plays her in an exhibition next month.

There's an old joke about the words 'bitch' and 'slut' and it goes something like this.

A slut fucks everybody. A bitch fucks everybody but you.

And Justin, here's a tip for that exhibition match next month. Play completely naked! I'm sure Anna Kournikova will be moved to tears, plus it'll be really hard for her to hit a tennis ball while she's doubled over laughing at you.

I don't see what's good or funny about directing your attacks at this. Or this. Or this. It's actually completely nutless. Especially when we all know that this guy is at home right now waxing his carrot to pictures of Pete Sampras.

God, I can't believe I just wrote this much about tennis. But yeah, for the record, you can think whatever you want about chicks. You can say... whatever you want about chicks... privately. When you go on the record, calling a bunch of girls 'bitches' and 'sexpots' and shit... it's probably going to be a VERY long time before you get Waldo the One-Eyed Cyclops into the swimming pool again.


  1. I am glad you wrote about tennis. It was really funny. Loved all the pictures. LoL

  2. yeah what a douche. he aint getting laid and hes just bitter. oh and i cant believe you wrote about tennis either but it was funny- candass