Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Curt Schilling: American Badass!!!

Everybody's taking a swing at this post on Curt Schilling's 38pitches blog. I guess that means it's up to me to knock this motherfucker out of the park (kind of like the fat fastballs Schilling's been throwing for the last 3 years.) He covered a bunch of different topics and I find more than just the Kobe stuff offensive, so here goes.

Manny hits 500, wow. 500 of anything means you’re good.

500 GIDP means you're a fucking rock star dude.

Be it walks, hits, runs, anything, but 500 home runs, while it can be argued is not the milestone it once was, is still an incredible feat.

If you're so pumped about Manny reaching 500, why are you taking away from it by pointing out that it's "not the milestone it once was"? Do you always shit on your teammates achievements?

I’ve said before, when you do something in a game that is more than a century old, for the first time, or only time, you’ve truly done something.

I appreciate Manny as much as anybody, but what has he done that's never been done before? Aside from high-fiving a guy in the bleachers after a catch? Most post season home runs? Could that have something to do with him playing in 95 post-season games? (30 more than Mickey Mantle, for example)

Who isn’t blown away at the Jon Lester story?

I'm not blown away. He threw a no-hitter. You're blown away because you still look at him and see CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER TUMOR CANCER DEATH written on his forehead. To me, he's really just another pitcher now. I look at him the way I look at everybody else.

I’d like to think I’ve helped him a bit.

Of course you have. I'm sure he looks at you the way Andy Pettitte looks at Roger Clemens.

I couldn’t play in the NBA because about 43 times last night I heard things being said that would have made me swing at someone.

Curt Schilling: Bad Mother Fucker. But seriously, remember this quote.

Paul Pierce is friggin good. What a game. Who on the Lakers can defend him?

Kobe defended him pretty well in Game 3, when he didn't have to fight the refs the whole way.

I wondered aloud, a few times, how in the hell calls weren’t being made against the Celts on a ton of plays in the paint where there was some serious pugilism being committed.

Glad that Curt Schilling backed me up on this. Yeah Curt, I wonder why there weren't more calls against the Celtics in Boston...

From the first tip until about 4 minutes left in the game I saw and heard this guy (Kobe Bryant) bitch at his teammates.

They were playing like shit Curt, this is what some call leadership. Had they won the game, you'd be raving about how he "took charge out there and willed his team to win."

No dialog about “hey let’s go, let’s get after it” or whatever.
So you mean there was no disingenuous rah-rah bullshit? Just a fierce competitor wanting his teammates to cut down their mistakes, so they could try to win a game in the NBA Finals?

He spent the better part of 3.5 quarters pissed off and ranting at the non-execution or lack of, of his team.

So he has a temper? Well at least he didn't take a swing at a guy 43 different times for trash talking... like you would. Remember saying that Curt? That you'd take a swing at somebody? 43 times a game? Yes, I'm taking you literally. Kobe didn't bitchsmack Luke Walton for missing a rebound. So what's the problem. Again, if they had won the game you'd be gushing about his leadership. They lost, so he's an asshole.

So who do we think would win in a fight between DJ Mbenga and Curt Schilling? I've got $20 on Mbenga.

P.S. - Hey DJ, this is the second time I've mentioned you in my blog. And this time I didn't even imply that Kobe Bryant touched your no-no spot! You should thank me. You should autograph something and mail it to me. Better yet, get Kobe to autograph something for me... you know, after he sticks his fingers up your bum in the shower.

Thanks to Jane Silva for the tip on this article.


  1. I had never seen Schill Man's blog before. Holy crap - what it up with the hundred-paragraph blog entries??? If all the stuff they say about Schill trolling blogs and reading every mention of his name on the internet, you have to assume the guy spends every hour of his day on the computer. What is he, 15 years old?

  2. Yeah, Schilling sounds like a pretty massive dipshit. It's sad, because over the course of his career he's been a very good pitcher, but he's so hard to like or cheer for because he's such a cock-juggling thunder-queer.

    Although he sorta fits right in in Boston.