Monday, May 12, 2008

D'Antoni Is Wrong for the Knicks?

Today I get a real treat. I get to talk about one of my hometown teams and an article from my hometown paper! One great thing about the New York Daily News, is that there's no shortage of stupidity to be found within it.
(Actually, there is a "shortage" of stupidity, and his name is Mike Lupica... but for more on that, check out

Onto the premise of things though. Mitch Lawrence thinks Donnie Walsh is an idiot for hiring Mike D'Antoni. Mitch Lawrence is so certain of this, that he's invented a really witty nickname for Donnie Walsh. Bold Donnie. Bold Donnie? Bold Donnie!

Note to self: Bold = Nice way to call someone an asshole.

(Note, that's not me. And probably not you.)

Bold Donnie strikes again.

We get it Mitch, you think he's an asshole. I already explained it.

Mike D'Antoni coaching the Knicks? What's next, trading for Shaquille O'Neal to come in and play point guard?

D'Antoni : Coach = Shaq : Point Guard? These two things are very clearly similar. Plus this is topical, because Shaq got traded to the Suns this year. And D'Antoni was the coach of the Suns! This might actually work! Shaq played in D'Antoni's system, he's been around Nash a little, and aside from the fact that he's 7'2", 685 lbs, and can't dribble or shoot, he'd probably create mismatches all over the place.

Here's a better one: Make D'Antoni the GM of the Knicks, too.

You mean so he can trade for and sign guys suited to play into his system? That's a very intelligent suggestion, but you were being sarcastic, weren't you Mitch? You cheeky little monkey.

Even Walsh has to look at a reduced role now. His drafts and signings at Indiana over the better part of a quarter of a century reflected the old NBA way of thinking (incidentally, the kind that keeps producing championships, but why let facts get in the way of a good fantasy?).

Donnie Walsh is Old School. Mike D'Antoni is not. Old School wins Championships. Cut. And. Dry. Suck on that you New School pricks.

Just for the sake of reference, I'm going to break this down in a way that's easily understandable.
Number of Teams Playing D'Antoni's Style: 2 (Suns, Raptors)
Number of Team-Seasons teams have played D'Antoni's Style: 5 (Suns - 4, Raptors - 1)
Playoff Appearances: 5
Championships: 0

Number of Teams Playing "Old School": All of the other ones.
Number of Team-Seasons teams have played "Old School": 5,234,230,921,928,289
Playoff Appearances: Roughly 27% of all teams in the history of the NBA, with roughly 73% of them missing the playoffs.
Championships: All of them.

Seems to me, Mitch, that the reason "Old School" wins Championships... is because that's all ANYBODY ELSE PLAYS according to you. Your analogy implies that there are two types of basketball: "Old School" and "D'Antoni School" (which sounds like a culinary arts academy.)

The Showtime Lakers? The Phil Jackson Triangle Offense-driven Bulls Teams? You're telling me that these aren't different from say... the hard-nosed defense, team-first approach of the San Antonio Spurs? You're skating on thin ice Mitch Lawrence.

The Knicks are now a new-wave team, so they had better adjust on all fronts and go all the way with this.

New Wave? Okay, lets go with New Wave. Here are some ways to adjust to being New Wave. The Knicks are no longer a basketball team. They're an 80's ska band.

Diaw is D'Antoni's kind of player: a soft, finesse convertible type who can play 17 positions and defend none.

Diaw is really soft. He missed 11 games last season because his pussy hurt and 5 more because he was really bloated. The 17 positions he can play are: Shooting Guard, Small Forward, Power Forward, Center, Left Field, Goalie, Striker, Left Outside Linebacker, Shortstop, Catcher, Doggie Style, 69, Administrative Assistant, Punter, Reverse Cowgirl, and Porn Fluffer.

The smiles you see are from NBA officials who now will get their wish of having the Knicks draft the "next Dirk Nowitzki" out of Outer Mongolia.

Really? Who is he! That would be an excellent player for the Knicks to grab up. Although I think they'll probably take Derrick Rose if he's there for them.

Here's what this comes down to. Everybody's pointing out that the Knicks don't have any players who can play D'Antoni's style, aside from maybe Nate Robinson, Jamal Crawford, David Lee, Renaldo Balkman and Wilson Chandler. Curry and Randolph can't run, their tits will jiggle too much.

The better question is: How many of these guys can play "Old School" basketball? How many of them can play defense? None. NONE!!

N. O. N. E.
So what's better? Having 4 or 5 guys who can play into the system? Or none? D'Antoni's won without defense for the last 4 years. The Knicks have lost playing "Old School" for the last 700 years. Why not try something new?

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