What Am I Doin' In Jersey!?

Yup... I stole that tag line from George Carlin. And here's why!

Dan Graziano! I don't know anything about the man. Where do we begin?

Contrary to the denials that made the rounds Monday, officials from both teams say the Mets have contacted the Red Sox about Manny Ramirez and are interested in pursuing a deal for him if Boston decides to make him available.

Sorta like in 2005, when the Mets could have gotten Manny for Lastings Milledge and Mike Cameron? Anybody still think refusing that deal was a good idea? Going once? Going twice? Didn't think so.

The Red Sox suspect that GM Omar Minaya wants Ramirez more than Mets ownership does.

Whoa... a GM who's constructed the oldest 97.85% Latin team in baseball history is interested in adding a 36 year old Dominican? You're shocking me here.

Point here is... the Mets need Manny. The guy can flat-out rake. He's old, he's cranky, he doesn't always feel like playing baseball, but he can flat-out rake and with him they're a better team than without him. They should do whatever it takes to get him.

Sadly, they probably don't have anything that Boston wants. They don't have quality bullpen arms. They don't have substantial upgrades at any position except...

Jose Reyes. So here's the question... if you're the Mets, do you hate Jose Reyes enough to trade a potential 10 years of .298/.362/.493 and a ton of extra base hits and stolen bases... for two years of .304/.400/.538 and a bunch more homers?

The Sox would probably asshump the notion of a deal that sent Manny and Julio Lugo to the Mets, in exchange for say... Jose Reyes and top prospect Fernando Martinez. Are the Mets desperate enough to win this year? Who cares. Here's why I picked this article....

PLAYER OF THE DAY
MARK TEIXEIRA, Atlanta 1B

Blah blah blah... the Braves are looking to trade Teixeira. So why don't you point out some stupid coincidental fact.

Key stat: The Braves were 56-51 when they acquired Teixeira at last year's deadline. Since then, they are 77-83.

Bingo!! It's Mark Teixeira's fault that the Braves have gotten slightly worse. Their hefty .523 winning percentage dropped to a dismal .481 winning percentage because of Mark Teixeira's beastly .295/.392/.550ish (because I'm doing rough estimates here) line, and his ugly 37 homers and 134 runs batted in, in 157 games as a Brave!!

Where have you gone, Scott Thorman?! Come back and save us from a first baseman who can actually hit a baseball!!!! We need your grit and hustle to counterbalance all of Texy's selfish, me-first home runs and RBIs!!!