Right off the bat, you're better off reading the coverage of what I'm gonna talk about at FireJoeMorgan.com. They're funnier and more professional and shit than I am. So click that link, read that, laugh and come back...
Junior at FJM basically nailed this one on the head. I really only have one thing to add.
“The younger generation likes the snarky tone,” says Bissinger. “They like the gossip, they like the juice. I don’t think they really appreciate good writing and reporting, and those, to me, are precious arts. . . . It’s all some interactive gangbang.”
Interactive gangbang! Hey Buzz, I don't know if you've ever BEEN to an actual gangbang, but let me tell you, it's a pretty interactive process. I was at this one gangbang with Darryl Strawberry, Steve Howe and the cast of 'Friends' this one time in 1995. Darryl brough the cocaine and autographed Wally Backman baseballs for all of us. It was a great night and lemme tell you, there's a REASON that Jennifer Aniston's a star and it's related to the reason that the first half of her name is so similar to the word anus.
He's my summation on this topic.
There are people who are good at everything. And there are people who are bad at everything.
There are good blogs, like FJM and Deadspin. And there's this blog right here.
While FJM is the David Halberstam of snarky blogging, I'm probably closer to the Mike Lupica.
That doesn't make blogging bad or wrong or evil.
Buzz Bissinger's logic is akin to getting rid of the sport of baseball because Michael Jordan was a shitty player and saying, "Come on! He's fucking AMAZING at Basketball! THE ENTIRE SPORT OF BASEBALL IS CLEARLY THE FUCKING PROBLEM!!! BASEBALL IS FULL OF SHIT!!!"
Friday, June 20, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
You'd Do It Too... Hell, I Would...
Check this shit out!!
Yup, that's a billboard for Will Smith's new movie, Hancock.
The workers decided to hang the letters from right to left. And then take a cigarette break after (for lack of a better choice of words) hanging the word that rhymes with... well... COCK!! And what's even funnier are the red letters above it... 'VUE.' So basically... it says "View Cock!"
Come on, you thought I was going to write an entire post without any kind of profanity? Who do you take me for? Bill Plaschke?! We can't all get bye on poetic sentence fragments, but just for shits and giggles, I'll take a stab at it...
There they hung.
The letters.
Silver majesty.
The K.
It was a capital K.
Bigger than the 'coc'.
Double.
The size.
It spelled.
A word.
A four-letter word.
One that's synonymous with 'rooster'.
And Bill Plaschke drooled.
Wanting to eat one.
Not a rooster.
A cock.
Like a big penis.
Because he's gay.
Buzz Bissinger.
Because what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't say his name?
Yup, that's a billboard for Will Smith's new movie, Hancock.
The workers decided to hang the letters from right to left. And then take a cigarette break after (for lack of a better choice of words) hanging the word that rhymes with... well... COCK!! And what's even funnier are the red letters above it... 'VUE.' So basically... it says "View Cock!"
Come on, you thought I was going to write an entire post without any kind of profanity? Who do you take me for? Bill Plaschke?! We can't all get bye on poetic sentence fragments, but just for shits and giggles, I'll take a stab at it...
There they hung.
The letters.
Silver majesty.
The K.
It was a capital K.
Bigger than the 'coc'.
Double.
The size.
It spelled.
A word.
A four-letter word.
One that's synonymous with 'rooster'.
And Bill Plaschke drooled.
Wanting to eat one.
Not a rooster.
A cock.
Like a big penis.
Because he's gay.
Buzz Bissinger.
Because what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't say his name?
Tribute to Mr. Jerry Manuel
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta! Thank God Jerry Manuel got a managerial job! And Thank God he got it close to home for me so I can laugh at the antics of this butt-fucking Finkelstein.
I really thought I was going to just bash Bill Simmons and Dusty Baker for the rest of their lives (or until they return to whatever planets they respectively come from.) But now there's Jerry.
He should cut Reyes every time he pops up a ball. Sort of an extreme version of Willie Mays Hayes doing push-ups!
Straight ball, I hit it very much!!! And for the record, no. Jesus Christ cannot hit a curveball. And that's a capital NO, just so we're clear!
Although Christ bangs hanging sliders like he's a Republican Senator and they're 12-year old Malaysian boys.
I really thought I was going to just bash Bill Simmons and Dusty Baker for the rest of their lives (or until they return to whatever planets they respectively come from.) But now there's Jerry.
He should cut Reyes every time he pops up a ball. Sort of an extreme version of Willie Mays Hayes doing push-ups!
Straight ball, I hit it very much!!! And for the record, no. Jesus Christ cannot hit a curveball. And that's a capital NO, just so we're clear!
Although Christ bangs hanging sliders like he's a Republican Senator and they're 12-year old Malaysian boys.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Injuries Make You an Asshole!
Jeff Passan, how I've missed thee. I shall write thee sweet prose to profess my love for your moronic ramblings!
My love for you is like a truck! Berserker!!!
Would you like some making fuck! Berserker!!!
My love for you is like a rock! Berserker!!!
Would you like to smoke some pot! Berserker!!!
My love for you is ticking clock! Berserker!!!
Would you like to suck my cock! Berserker!!!
Would you like some making fuck! Berserker!!!
Wait a second, those are the lyrics to Berserker, by Love Among Freaks. Whatever. Jeff Passan wrote this article. It's a steaming piece of shit as usual. It's about overpaid/underpaid guys in baseball. Problem is that most of the "overpaid" guys are injured. And most of the underpaid guys are on rookie contracts or arbitration-year deals.
Guys who are 'overpaid' mostly because of injuries: Nomar Garciaparra, Carl Pavano, Jason Schmidt, Mike Hampton, Denys Baez, Mark Prior (who's only making $1M this year)
I'm sure that if you dig up Jason Schmidt's 2007 Christmas list, the only thing he asked Santa to bring him was shoulder surgery! These guys are all obviously thrilled that they get to sit on the DL, constantly having doctors cut into their bodies with sharp objects. I'm sure they'd rather go through 8 hours a day of painful rehab than play baseball pain-free for 3 hours a day.
Guys who are 'underpaid' because they haven't hit free agency yet: Kevin Youkilis, Ian Kinsler, Grady Sizemore, Dan Haren, Brandon Webb.
Because Brandon Webb and Dan Haren aren't going to be making at least $15 million a year once they hit the open market. And Sizemore isn't going to find some retarded owner to give him $25 million and his own daytime TV show *cough-Ned Coletti-cough.
Oh, and while we're on the topic of poetry, here's Jeff Passan's poem to Mike Hampton!
Hamstring, elbow, Tommy JohnFucking incredible. Now I know why Jeff Passan makes his living in sports journalism, and I've only made $0.97 from Google AdSense since I started this site. Sweet fucking poems.
Disabled list you’re always on
Mr. Hampton, you’re the best
Working on three years’ rest
New Reality Show: Double-Talking with the Stars!
That was a shitty title for this post. I apologize. Lets get right to business. Jemele Hill is in trouble. To explain why, we need to go back in time. Far, far back... to a time when Don Imus cracked jokes about Women's NCAA Basketball...
“He is routinely offensive to people of color and women,” Hill wrote, “and if he needs to lose his job to understand that there is no place for that, so be it.”
Abso-fucking-lutley right! Fuck Don Imus. Fuck him in his wrinkled, rustic, brokeback cowboy hat-wearing ass! Fuck him with the nozzle of a spray-can of Kraft Easy Cheese until his orifices leak yellowish-brown discharge. The guy should have to play centerfield for daily circle jerks from the Chippendales for what he said about women of color! Fu... wait... Jemele's still here... okay, go ahead Jemele. I got carried away.
“Rooting for the Celtics is like saying Hitler was a victim. It’s like hoping Gorbachev would get to the blinking red button before Reagan.”
Yeah!! Fuck the Celt... wait... what?! I just got completely lost here. Let me get this straight now.
We agree that cracking a bad joke about black female basketball players is ugly, and the dipshit who did it probably deserved to get shit-canned for it. And he did. And we did rejoiced!
But somehow, implying that Bostonians are in favor of nuclear holocaust is okay? Just in case you're not fully following these statements that Jemele made, let me break them down.
Rooting for the Celtics is like saying Hitler was a victim. - Has anybody ever said this ever? Is anyone that completely bat-shit insane? I just talked to Mel Gibson about this statement and he said that was taking the whole Jew-hating thing a little too far.
It’s like hoping Gorbachev would get to the blinking red button before Reagan. - I was kind of hoping that nobody got to the blinking red button. The blinking red button meant that nukes were going to start flying. And if Gorbachev got there first, we were toast. A lot of Celtics fans would have died if Gorbachev pushed that button. So, by Jemele's estimation, not only do Celtics fans hate America, and want to see you all die a horrible death... but they're also suicidal!
Hey Jemele, I'm again failing to see the correlation between
Pistons Fan, and...
Biggest fucking moron in the history of ESPN (and I hope you all realize how significant it is, to be the biggest moron in the history of a media group that has employed people like: Bill Simmons, Chris Berman, Steve Phillips, John Kruk, Peter Gammons and Joe Morgan, among others.)
Jemele Hill has been suspended. She should be fired. To put it in Jemele's own words...
Her routine is offensive to WWII Veterans, Mel Gibson, Germans, Bostonians, Jews and America, and if she needs to lose her job to understand that there's no place for that, then so be it.
“He is routinely offensive to people of color and women,” Hill wrote, “and if he needs to lose his job to understand that there is no place for that, so be it.”
Abso-fucking-lutley right! Fuck Don Imus. Fuck him in his wrinkled, rustic, brokeback cowboy hat-wearing ass! Fuck him with the nozzle of a spray-can of Kraft Easy Cheese until his orifices leak yellowish-brown discharge. The guy should have to play centerfield for daily circle jerks from the Chippendales for what he said about women of color! Fu... wait... Jemele's still here... okay, go ahead Jemele. I got carried away.
“Rooting for the Celtics is like saying Hitler was a victim. It’s like hoping Gorbachev would get to the blinking red button before Reagan.”
Yeah!! Fuck the Celt... wait... what?! I just got completely lost here. Let me get this straight now.
We agree that cracking a bad joke about black female basketball players is ugly, and the dipshit who did it probably deserved to get shit-canned for it. And he did. And we did rejoiced!
But somehow, implying that Bostonians are in favor of nuclear holocaust is okay? Just in case you're not fully following these statements that Jemele made, let me break them down.
Rooting for the Celtics is like saying Hitler was a victim. - Has anybody ever said this ever? Is anyone that completely bat-shit insane? I just talked to Mel Gibson about this statement and he said that was taking the whole Jew-hating thing a little too far.
It’s like hoping Gorbachev would get to the blinking red button before Reagan. - I was kind of hoping that nobody got to the blinking red button. The blinking red button meant that nukes were going to start flying. And if Gorbachev got there first, we were toast. A lot of Celtics fans would have died if Gorbachev pushed that button. So, by Jemele's estimation, not only do Celtics fans hate America, and want to see you all die a horrible death... but they're also suicidal!
How could Jemele possibly explain herself when grilled about this situation?
“In expressing my passion for the NBA and my hometown of Detroit I showed very poor judgment in the words I used.”
Ohhhhh!!! It all makes sense now!!! Jemele attacked the entire city of Boston, the entire Jewish religion, the entire United States of America and every World War II Veteran in the WORLD... because she's a fucking Pistons fan!!!!
Hey Jemele, I'm again failing to see the correlation between
Pistons Fan, and...
Biggest fucking moron in the history of ESPN (and I hope you all realize how significant it is, to be the biggest moron in the history of a media group that has employed people like: Bill Simmons, Chris Berman, Steve Phillips, John Kruk, Peter Gammons and Joe Morgan, among others.)
Jemele Hill has been suspended. She should be fired. To put it in Jemele's own words...
Her routine is offensive to WWII Veterans, Mel Gibson, Germans, Bostonians, Jews and America, and if she needs to lose her job to understand that there's no place for that, then so be it.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The Blowing Cohns Update!!!!!
Some of you might remember the following from my May 27th post.
Barry Zito will go 14-1 for the rest of the year and write a song comparing pitching to surfing! (Yup, that was Iggy Cohn's statement)
I don't know if Zito can sing or play guitar. But if Zito goes 14-1 from this point forward, and finishes with exactly 15 wins and 9 losses in 2008, I will personally... get on a plane... fly to San Francisco... and suck Lowell and Iggy Cohn's fucking cocks. I'm not gonna get super into it and yank on their balls like it's the last paper towel on the roll. I'm not gonna enjoy it. But I'll do it if Barry Zito goes 14-1 for the rest of the year. That's how completely fucking certain I am that this will not happen.
(And that was my response to the assertion that Zito would morph into Sandy Koufax because Iggy's dad called him a bum.)
So that was three weeks ago... lets find out how Zito's done under the immense pressure of trying to be responsible for making me give head to strangers.
5/29 vs. AZ - 6 IP, 6 H, 3 ER, 3 BB, 5 K's and a no decision. Not bad, a quality start, maybe he's turning it around... I'm nervous...
6/3 vs. Los Mets - 4.1 IP, 7 H, 5 ER, 5 BB, 1 K and a loss. Okay, he was allowed 1 loss. We're not out of the woods yet.
6/8 vs. The Nats - 5 IP, 7 H, 3 ER, 4 BB, 2 K's and a win. This can't happen, can it? This was a really cheap win... can he really win 14 in a row like this? That would be my luck.
6/13 vs. Oak - 5.2 IP, 6 H, 4 ER, 4 BB, 3 K's and a loss! Sort of fitting that the A's would be the team to save me from losing my oral virginity to a couple of short, pale Jewish men. Billy Beane, your crazy moneyball computer baseball simulations shall be forever welcome in my life! I'll even pretend to believe that you didn't write Moneyball!!! And I just might name my first-born child after Jack Cust. Especially if it's a girl.
So there you have it. If you're a sports journalist, and you make crazy predictions, bloggers will threaten to fly to your city and give you hummers. I hope we've all learned a valuable lesson from this... especially you, John Kruk.
Barry Zito will go 14-1 for the rest of the year and write a song comparing pitching to surfing! (Yup, that was Iggy Cohn's statement)
I don't know if Zito can sing or play guitar. But if Zito goes 14-1 from this point forward, and finishes with exactly 15 wins and 9 losses in 2008, I will personally... get on a plane... fly to San Francisco... and suck Lowell and Iggy Cohn's fucking cocks. I'm not gonna get super into it and yank on their balls like it's the last paper towel on the roll. I'm not gonna enjoy it. But I'll do it if Barry Zito goes 14-1 for the rest of the year. That's how completely fucking certain I am that this will not happen.
(And that was my response to the assertion that Zito would morph into Sandy Koufax because Iggy's dad called him a bum.)
So that was three weeks ago... lets find out how Zito's done under the immense pressure of trying to be responsible for making me give head to strangers.
5/29 vs. AZ - 6 IP, 6 H, 3 ER, 3 BB, 5 K's and a no decision. Not bad, a quality start, maybe he's turning it around... I'm nervous...
6/3 vs. Los Mets - 4.1 IP, 7 H, 5 ER, 5 BB, 1 K and a loss. Okay, he was allowed 1 loss. We're not out of the woods yet.
6/8 vs. The Nats - 5 IP, 7 H, 3 ER, 4 BB, 2 K's and a win. This can't happen, can it? This was a really cheap win... can he really win 14 in a row like this? That would be my luck.
6/13 vs. Oak - 5.2 IP, 6 H, 4 ER, 4 BB, 3 K's and a loss! Sort of fitting that the A's would be the team to save me from losing my oral virginity to a couple of short, pale Jewish men. Billy Beane, your crazy moneyball computer baseball simulations shall be forever welcome in my life! I'll even pretend to believe that you didn't write Moneyball!!! And I just might name my first-born child after Jack Cust. Especially if it's a girl.
So there you have it. If you're a sports journalist, and you make crazy predictions, bloggers will threaten to fly to your city and give you hummers. I hope we've all learned a valuable lesson from this... especially you, John Kruk.
Your One-Stop Shop for Entertainment?
I found this a while back and since I went MIA for a few days, I feel like I should do something new to let you guys know I'm still alive and railing at nothing in particular. This little game is called Drunken Masters... and it's pretty much Guitar Hero for Alcoholics. I thought you guys'd get a kick out of it. I certainly did for a while.
EDIT: Fuck... I wanted to just post it right here, but the layout doesn't work right, so the window's too small and you can't play the game. I could probably fix it if I were more savvy/smarter but I'm not... and that's part of why you love me. So here's a link instead.
Drunken Master
Click here to play this game
EDIT: Fuck... I wanted to just post it right here, but the layout doesn't work right, so the window's too small and you can't play the game. I could probably fix it if I were more savvy/smarter but I'm not... and that's part of why you love me. So here's a link instead.
Drunken Master
Click here to play this game
Next Stop! Dodger Blue!!!
So in case you haven't heard, Willie Randolph is no longer the Manager of the New York Mets. He lasted a while, he had some good times and alas, he's fired in the middle of the night, 3,000 miles from home, after a win.
They let this guy twist in the wind for a month and then shit-canned him in the farthest possible place from home. Seems like a pretty harsh set of circumstances for a guy who's really not to blame for how bad the Mets have been this year.
You probably realize that the Mets payroll this year is around $140 Million, but as a Yankee fan, I'll be the first person to tell you that when your team is doling out that much payroll, a LOT of it is going to guys who aren't giving you the sort of production you were getting when you signed them. And spending money's no guarantee of winning a fucking thing any more.
Delgado is a $16 Million-a-year dead body.
Moises Alou's making $7.5 Million... and he's played in 15 games.
Pedro's on the books for $11 Million.
El Duque's getting another $7 Million to be the Mets answer to Carl Pavano jokes.
People got caught up in the "collapse" or the idea that the Mets had a bad month last September. The fact of the matter is they're a poorly constructed team and it caught up to them.
Reliable hitters in the Mets Lineup: David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Ryan Church (DL)
Reliable arms in the Mets Rotation/Bullpen: Johan Santana, John Maine, Pedro Feliciano, Billy Wagner
Point is, Willie's the scapegoat because Omar Minaya failed to understand that a few of guys have overachieved for the last year or two (Oliver Perez, Jose Reyes) and a bunch more were going to decline dramatically or be hurt (Delgado, Castillo, Pedro, El Duque, Alou).
The bottom line is that the GM needs to get shit-canned along with the manager. And I think we all know that Willie's going to end up in Los Angeles, where he can resume his former job of sleeping on the bench next to Joe Torre.
They let this guy twist in the wind for a month and then shit-canned him in the farthest possible place from home. Seems like a pretty harsh set of circumstances for a guy who's really not to blame for how bad the Mets have been this year.
You probably realize that the Mets payroll this year is around $140 Million, but as a Yankee fan, I'll be the first person to tell you that when your team is doling out that much payroll, a LOT of it is going to guys who aren't giving you the sort of production you were getting when you signed them. And spending money's no guarantee of winning a fucking thing any more.
Delgado is a $16 Million-a-year dead body.
Moises Alou's making $7.5 Million... and he's played in 15 games.
Pedro's on the books for $11 Million.
El Duque's getting another $7 Million to be the Mets answer to Carl Pavano jokes.
People got caught up in the "collapse" or the idea that the Mets had a bad month last September. The fact of the matter is they're a poorly constructed team and it caught up to them.
Reliable hitters in the Mets Lineup: David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Ryan Church (DL)
Reliable arms in the Mets Rotation/Bullpen: Johan Santana, John Maine, Pedro Feliciano, Billy Wagner
Point is, Willie's the scapegoat because Omar Minaya failed to understand that a few of guys have overachieved for the last year or two (Oliver Perez, Jose Reyes) and a bunch more were going to decline dramatically or be hurt (Delgado, Castillo, Pedro, El Duque, Alou).
The bottom line is that the GM needs to get shit-canned along with the manager. And I think we all know that Willie's going to end up in Los Angeles, where he can resume his former job of sleeping on the bench next to Joe Torre.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Congrats! You Just Made Your Girlfriend Single!!!
I'm guessing you guys have seen this. The chick's name is Lauren Bernat, she's 25... and I most definitely want a shake with that.
The guy in the clip is Giovanny Gutierrez, and much thanks to him for showing (as of today) about 2 million people his girlfriend's ass and sexual technique. To make matters worse for this dude, he took the video and threw it up onto YouTube completely behind her back...
So on one hand, Giovanny basically made Lauren famous... but on the other hand, he completely violated her trust to do it.
Who wants to bet that I'm wrong about this... but she MIGHT take a second to thank him while she's punting him out the door. That, and she'll probably get her own reality show.
Wii Fit Hula Hoop Girl of Love on VH1? You don't think so?
You realize that this guy, and this guy got shows right? And that neither one's done anything significant in 20 years.
And they also gave shows to this girl for having lots of MySpace friends, and this girl for winning a show involving one of the guys who hasn't done anything significant in 20 years.
Lauren Bernat, we salute you and your retarded soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend.
Curt Schilling: American Badass!!!
Everybody's taking a swing at this post on Curt Schilling's 38pitches blog. I guess that means it's up to me to knock this motherfucker out of the park (kind of like the fat fastballs Schilling's been throwing for the last 3 years.) He covered a bunch of different topics and I find more than just the Kobe stuff offensive, so here goes.
Manny hits 500, wow. 500 of anything means you’re good.
500 GIDP means you're a fucking rock star dude.
Be it walks, hits, runs, anything, but 500 home runs, while it can be argued is not the milestone it once was, is still an incredible feat.
If you're so pumped about Manny reaching 500, why are you taking away from it by pointing out that it's "not the milestone it once was"? Do you always shit on your teammates achievements?
I’ve said before, when you do something in a game that is more than a century old, for the first time, or only time, you’ve truly done something.
I appreciate Manny as much as anybody, but what has he done that's never been done before? Aside from high-fiving a guy in the bleachers after a catch? Most post season home runs? Could that have something to do with him playing in 95 post-season games? (30 more than Mickey Mantle, for example)
Who isn’t blown away at the Jon Lester story?
I'm not blown away. He threw a no-hitter. You're blown away because you still look at him and see CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER TUMOR CANCER DEATH written on his forehead. To me, he's really just another pitcher now. I look at him the way I look at everybody else.
I’d like to think I’ve helped him a bit.
Of course you have. I'm sure he looks at you the way Andy Pettitte looks at Roger Clemens.
I couldn’t play in the NBA because about 43 times last night I heard things being said that would have made me swing at someone.
Curt Schilling: Bad Mother Fucker. But seriously, remember this quote.
Paul Pierce is friggin good. What a game. Who on the Lakers can defend him?
Kobe defended him pretty well in Game 3, when he didn't have to fight the refs the whole way.
I wondered aloud, a few times, how in the hell calls weren’t being made against the Celts on a ton of plays in the paint where there was some serious pugilism being committed.
Glad that Curt Schilling backed me up on this. Yeah Curt, I wonder why there weren't more calls against the Celtics in Boston...
From the first tip until about 4 minutes left in the game I saw and heard this guy (Kobe Bryant) bitch at his teammates.
They were playing like shit Curt, this is what some call leadership. Had they won the game, you'd be raving about how he "took charge out there and willed his team to win."
No dialog about “hey let’s go, let’s get after it” or whatever.
So you mean there was no disingenuous rah-rah bullshit? Just a fierce competitor wanting his teammates to cut down their mistakes, so they could try to win a game in the NBA Finals?
He spent the better part of 3.5 quarters pissed off and ranting at the non-execution or lack of, of his team.
So he has a temper? Well at least he didn't take a swing at a guy 43 different times for trash talking... like you would. Remember saying that Curt? That you'd take a swing at somebody? 43 times a game? Yes, I'm taking you literally. Kobe didn't bitchsmack Luke Walton for missing a rebound. So what's the problem. Again, if they had won the game you'd be gushing about his leadership. They lost, so he's an asshole.
So who do we think would win in a fight between DJ Mbenga and Curt Schilling? I've got $20 on Mbenga.
P.S. - Hey DJ, this is the second time I've mentioned you in my blog. And this time I didn't even imply that Kobe Bryant touched your no-no spot! You should thank me. You should autograph something and mail it to me. Better yet, get Kobe to autograph something for me... you know, after he sticks his fingers up your bum in the shower.
Thanks to Jane Silva for the tip on this article.
Manny hits 500, wow. 500 of anything means you’re good.
500 GIDP means you're a fucking rock star dude.
Be it walks, hits, runs, anything, but 500 home runs, while it can be argued is not the milestone it once was, is still an incredible feat.
If you're so pumped about Manny reaching 500, why are you taking away from it by pointing out that it's "not the milestone it once was"? Do you always shit on your teammates achievements?
I’ve said before, when you do something in a game that is more than a century old, for the first time, or only time, you’ve truly done something.
I appreciate Manny as much as anybody, but what has he done that's never been done before? Aside from high-fiving a guy in the bleachers after a catch? Most post season home runs? Could that have something to do with him playing in 95 post-season games? (30 more than Mickey Mantle, for example)
Who isn’t blown away at the Jon Lester story?
I'm not blown away. He threw a no-hitter. You're blown away because you still look at him and see CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER TUMOR CANCER DEATH written on his forehead. To me, he's really just another pitcher now. I look at him the way I look at everybody else.
I’d like to think I’ve helped him a bit.
Of course you have. I'm sure he looks at you the way Andy Pettitte looks at Roger Clemens.
I couldn’t play in the NBA because about 43 times last night I heard things being said that would have made me swing at someone.
Curt Schilling: Bad Mother Fucker. But seriously, remember this quote.
Paul Pierce is friggin good. What a game. Who on the Lakers can defend him?
Kobe defended him pretty well in Game 3, when he didn't have to fight the refs the whole way.
I wondered aloud, a few times, how in the hell calls weren’t being made against the Celts on a ton of plays in the paint where there was some serious pugilism being committed.
Glad that Curt Schilling backed me up on this. Yeah Curt, I wonder why there weren't more calls against the Celtics in Boston...
From the first tip until about 4 minutes left in the game I saw and heard this guy (Kobe Bryant) bitch at his teammates.
They were playing like shit Curt, this is what some call leadership. Had they won the game, you'd be raving about how he "took charge out there and willed his team to win."
No dialog about “hey let’s go, let’s get after it” or whatever.
So you mean there was no disingenuous rah-rah bullshit? Just a fierce competitor wanting his teammates to cut down their mistakes, so they could try to win a game in the NBA Finals?
He spent the better part of 3.5 quarters pissed off and ranting at the non-execution or lack of, of his team.
So he has a temper? Well at least he didn't take a swing at a guy 43 different times for trash talking... like you would. Remember saying that Curt? That you'd take a swing at somebody? 43 times a game? Yes, I'm taking you literally. Kobe didn't bitchsmack Luke Walton for missing a rebound. So what's the problem. Again, if they had won the game you'd be gushing about his leadership. They lost, so he's an asshole.
So who do we think would win in a fight between DJ Mbenga and Curt Schilling? I've got $20 on Mbenga.
P.S. - Hey DJ, this is the second time I've mentioned you in my blog. And this time I didn't even imply that Kobe Bryant touched your no-no spot! You should thank me. You should autograph something and mail it to me. Better yet, get Kobe to autograph something for me... you know, after he sticks his fingers up your bum in the shower.
Thanks to Jane Silva for the tip on this article.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)