People Live in Hawaii?!

I know the updates have gotten a little sporadic of late, and I apologize for that. As I mentioned previously, I'm sorting out some details of my living situation and that's making times a bit turbulent of late, but we'll be back on track soon.

For now, I found out something today that really upset me, so I thought I'd share it with whoever's still reading.

People are actually allowed to live in Hawaii? Like... full-time? Year round?! What the hell, okay!? That's not fair.

Hawaii should be a place that you can visit for a short time, make a wish, have it come true... and then you go home!! Like Fantasy Island!!!

Complete with David Eckstein, dressed as Tattoo!! And if you didn't leave after your little episode was over, Eckstein would punch you in the nads until you got on a plane!! I'm sure that with his grit and hustle, he'd keep things very well maintained.

Moreso, has anybody considered paying David Eckstein to monitor the borders of this great country? Seriously! Just him!! And maybe Darin Erstad (see in this picture assaulting a potentially illegal immigrant.) You know that Erstad was a punter in college, right? The two of them in a black van with a red stripe on the side. They could ride up and down the border like the A-Team and keep us safe from invasion with their calm eyes and wiry prowess!! This would be SO much cheaper than border patrol or fencing or digging a trench and filling it with crocodiles and electric eels.

There are no schematics involved. There's nothing to maintain. Just Eckstein and Erstad.

For a better America. Wow... I think I might have just made the case for a very strong write-in campaign on election day. McCain and Obama, look out!! The Albino Midget Party has just entered their candidates for the 2008 election!!!