The Proudest Moment of the Bush Administration

Right here. Yes, I realize this happened days ago. I find it hysterical and amazing all at once.



Look at the deft skill with which Bush dodged that first shoe. I haven't seen moves like that since Neo started to believe towards the end of the first Matrix movie. All this video needs is Rip Torn, in the wheelchair screaming, "If you can dodge an Iraqi Journalist's left shoe.... you can dodge a ball!"

Seriously though... G. Dubz looks like he's been practicing that move. You need to be quick like that when you expect to be dodging bullets.

Something Positive For a Change!

Check it out! Oscar Diaz came out of his coma!

For those of you who weren't aware of this story, Diaz is a 25 year old welterweight boxer from San Antonio, Texas.

He was unable to leave his corner following the 11th round of a fight with Delvin Rodriguez a couple of months ago, eventually collapsing in the ring. He ended up in the hospital with a severe brain injury, had surgery, and spent 2 months in a coma. And now he's awake.

So yeah, grats to Oscar Diaz, and lots of luck in your continued recovery dude.

Not a Glitch?

So I just heard about the "glitch" in Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2008, that allows ol'Tiger to walk on water.

And then I saw proof that this is no glitch...



Yup, there you have it. Tiger Woods is the reincarnation of Christ.

Sort of makes you wonder why he doesn't heal his knee, huh?

Also, speaking of miracles, when's the last time we had two posts in one day? Tell your friends!

A Golf Article? Yup, Making Fun of the Shark!

Here it is.

More interestingly, is that this is the headliner for Yahoo!'s entire sports section. The front page proclaims "The new Shark!"

And the caption under a picture of Greg Norman says,

"Contrary to all those heartbreaking losses, Greg Norman gave golf fans a week they should always cherish."

Yes!! A week in which he played valiantly, gave it his all, and inevitably lost. After shooting 70, 70 and 72, he closed with a 77, gagging away a shot at a championship with another awful Sunday, but that's not how Brian Murphy feels about this, no, not at all!!

Greg Norman: Sunday choker. Aren't those the words we’re supposed to etch on his career tombstone?

Yes, Brian Murphy. Yes they are.

Except, this was different, this Sunday at Birkdale.

Because he didn't choke away a multi-stroke lead? Because he won?

This was no choke at all.

Okay... he had the lead after 63 holes. That's 3 1/2 rounds. That means that he lost the lead on the last 9 holes. And just to clarify, he shot a 77 in the last round. To find a score worse than Norman's 77, you have to slide all the way down the leaderboard to KJ Choi, Simon Wakefield and Alexander Noren. Choi's in a 3-way tie for 16th. Noren and Wakefield are in a 600-way tie for 19th.

Funny thing is... Choi, Wakefield and Noren started the day tied for 2nd, 4th, and tied for 5th. Sure looks like they choked too.

HOWEVER.... the leaders all start the course around the same time, don't they? So maybe a case can be made that the conditions of the course were bad. That the winds changed, or the little fat gopher from Caddyshack was running rampant and Bill Murray was blowing up the golf course with plastic explosives? Is that what you're trying to say Brian?

He came to Birkdale for fun, and for memories, and to get ready for the Senior British Open at Troon, and to wind down his honeymoon with the former Miss Evert.

Yeah, see? It's the conditions. He had to play... wait... WHAT?! So like what dude?! He didn't really want to fucking win!? He didn't really care about exorcising the demons of the fact that he's the biggest choker in the history of professional golf... by winning a Major!?!

Nooooo... you're right. It's not a choke, because he never expected or planned to win. He was just there to paddleboard with Pierce fucking Brosnan and celebrate the premier of Mamma Mia!!!!

Hey Brian... maybe the pressure of the fact that this guy has always, always, ALWAYS....

A. L. W. A. Y. S.

choked in the last rounds of majors, and the $1.5 Million purse, and the thousands of screaming fans and the pressure of being in the drivers seat on Sunday came down on him a little hard. Maybe his grip got a little too tight, and his hands got a little too shaky. Maybe he choked.

Or maybe it had something to do with why the 1st, 2nd, 4th and 5th place golfers after 3 rounds all shot terribly. Maybe the conditions were bad.

Maybe Harrington really stepped up and played well in bad conditions, while Norman, Choi, Wakefield, Noren, Anthony Kim, Ben Curtis and Ross Fisher (all of whom started the day within the top 5) got swallowed up by poor conditions, difficult winds, etc.

I'm not a golf pro here. I'm speculating about some of this, using a set of scores to take an educated guess.

I will, however, GUARANTEE that the reason Greg Norman lost was NOT that "he didn't really want to win, and it wasn't a priority for him."

Proof That Steroids Are a Non-Story!

Look out everybody, Barry Bonds is due to join a contending lineup in the near-future!! Why? Because whether or not you've taken massive amounts of PEDs no longer matters at all! Proof you say? I've got your proof right here.

Yup, the American Mustache Institute has officially offered their support to Jason Giambi!! They want him to play in the All-Star Game!! They're going to vote for him!! They're throwing the massive weight of their coalition behind the formerly-embattled slugger and pushing him for the final roster spot for this month's All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium!!

"It doesn't take a mathematician to figure out that Jason Giambi's hitting prowess, plus a fashionable mustache, equals a bona fide All-Star," Aaron Perlut, executive director of The American Mustache Institute, says in the release.

So there you go Jason, you don't even have to pack any bags to play in the game, because it's at your home ballpark!! And you've got the support of like 11 guys with mustaches like this voting for you!!

Mind you, none of them own a computer, so they're just going to go to a couple of games and fill out the hand-written ballots... and it's probably too late to even presume that those things are being counted and tabulated into the results, but with that kind of support, how can you possibly lose?!

And just for the hell of it, here's another crazy mustache! This guy actually goes out in public like that!!

There's an American fucking Mustache Institute!! This is more disturbing than when I discovered that midgets actually have their own organization!

This is more disturbing than when some guy tried to say that "The Pursuit of Happiness" in the Declaration of Independence was proof of legalized beastiality.

I could come up with several more of these flawed analogies... but I figure I'll leave this type of humor to the real pro.



And also he's a ninjaaaaaaa!